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You wanna know just how conservative this liberal's become?

Last night he watched Top Gun — not because he hasn't seen it too many times already, but because (believe it or not) it's legitimate research.

While he's watching, it hits him: Val Kilmer's character, "Iceman," he's not the asshole. It's Maverick who's the asshole. And, all these years before, this so-called "liberal," he was convinced that "Iceman" was the one. In fact, all these years before last night, he's held a grudge against Val Kilmer personally because of the outstanding job he did in that movie — the outstanding job, of being an apparent, but not a legitimate, asshole. Because, when you're a kid, you wanna be Maverick. You wanna be an asshole.

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